We understand more and more about genetics these days, and we love to discover how our genes influence who we are.  We hear that a certain gene influences obesity, or sports ability, or temperament. The problem is, we think that “genetic” means a person has no control. Even top scientists get confused thinking that 30% heritability means that 30% of that trait is determined by genes. Nope.

Further, rarely does anyone say “IQ is 75% influenced by environment” they only mention the 25% that might be “determined” by genes.

So don’t be fooled. Genetics are important, but they are only part of us. Environmental influences are countless and complex. Personal choice is a big factor. We are just very very complex creatures.

And so are our kids.

“Oh, they are just doing that to get attention.”

Yes they are. We all desperately need attention. The younger the child, the more they require it to meet basic physical needs. Beyond that, interaction with others is an essential part of our mental, social, and emotional make up.

So yeah, your kid needs attention and they will experiment with many methods to get it. Try being proactive – give them lots of attention before they resort to getting some by clobbering another life form. Respond positively when they ask for attention in positive ways. When needed, apply methods of behavior modification like walking away from a tantrum, placing a child in time out, etc. And you will need them!

Just keep in mind that wanting attention is not inherently a bad thing.

Welcome to the newest section of my website. Previously I wrote about “what worked” twice a week, but it seems that many things I am learning as a parent are equally relevant to families without autism.

So look for some mind poking things here, no promises, no presumptions of perfection – just perspectives.