Ever heard of  “ethnocentrism?” It basically means you think your way is the best way – or the only way. Ethnocentrism is measuring another culture against your own, and it’s not at all compassionate.

Here is a simple example: “Hebrew is read backwards!” Actually it is read right to left, and who says that is backwards? Only someone applying an ethnocentric measurement of English against Hebrew.

Everyone does this to some degree. It crops up in many areas. One way to overcome it is to pay attention to our vocabulary. A careful choice of words can make a big difference. Any ideas? Please comment!

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I was so tired. I’d been at the Mayo Clinic four days, being subjected to constant medical tests and physician scrutiny. They ordered another MRI. The machine was down a long hospital hallway. The nurse guiding me got frustrated that I was walking slowly, turning and huffing at me as I got further and further behind her. I wanted to scream, “Do you not see the cane? Is this not the Mayo Clinic? Are you not here to help?” Instead I just started to cry. I wept as I walked, as I waited, and as I was prepared for the test. I cried enough to soak the cloths holding my head still inside the MRI machine. Not one of the dozen medical personnel present offered any comfort or even asked what might be bothering me.
Maybe they thought a friend or family member would show up to take care of me eventually. But I was there alone, and it remains one of the most lonely memories of my life.

Music is a sensory experience, and individuals with autism will respond to different music in different ways. Although D and K have very different likes and dislikes in music, they enjoy playing the piano together.

I should clarify, they are not playing the piano the way you might expect, more like playing with the piano. Ours is an electric one, with different keyboard sounds (“grand piano” and “harpsichord”) and some other electronic features. They like turning on the metronome as fast as it can go, experimenting with one or two notes over and over, and making high and low sounds to express mood. They even try to sound out Nintendo game themes.

So it’s not Beethoven…. it works!

This is why I love tap dancing, the sound!

Years ago, someone in my church congregation regularly informed me that my child could not participate in the Primary (church class for little ones) until she was poddy trained.  I gave her a soft “oh really?” answer, because I knew the real policy – January after the child turned three they would join Primary with kids their age.

But I also knew that Christ Himself would never reject a child, especially not based on something like poddy training. This was a few years before I understood my daughter had autism, but I was noticing some developmental delays. I knew she belonged at church, despite her differences.

By the way, she didn’t poddy train until age four and a half.

OK so this isn’t a joke, but it is simple old fun for simple old people.

Like me.

Battleships

Let me know if you figure out how this thing is scored!

We understand more and more about genetics these days, and we love to discover how our genes influence who we are.  We hear that a certain gene influences obesity, or sports ability, or temperament. The problem is, we think that “genetic” means a person has no control. Even top scientists get confused thinking that 30% heritability means that 30% of that trait is determined by genes. Nope.

Further, rarely does anyone say “IQ is 75% influenced by environment” they only mention the 25% that might be “determined” by genes.

So don’t be fooled. Genetics are important, but they are only part of us. Environmental influences are countless and complex. Personal choice is a big factor. We are just very very complex creatures.

And so are our kids.

I go to college, and I am old enough to be the mom of many of my classmates. Occasionally someone off campus will say, “isn’t it annoying to have to go to school with those kids; they think their lives are so stressful and they have no idea what real life is like…”

Uh, no?

Actually, I enjoy my classmates very much, they are some of my dearest friends. I don’t see their lives as particularly carefree.  A lot of life-altering decisions are made during young adult years; education, family, career, lifestyle, and location, location, location.

I am not denying that my life is stressful, I am just saying theirs is too. And yours. Comparing stress levels as greater or less than isn’t very compassionate. It’s better to lift up and support one another.

Happy helping!

Hello readers!

I know I have at least a couple

Maybe I never made this clear, but I do not consider this a private, journal type blog. I keep identities discreet, and when they are not, I ask explicit permission to use them.

You are welcome – even encouraged – to share it with anyone you feel might like it or benefit from it. I hope to be helpful, even just for a laugh.

Questions, suggestions, and requests are also welcome, in general or in any of the subjects included here.

Have a lovely!

D

I’ve already mentioned the birds and the snails and the fun we had trying to have a phylum pet house. I understood that my HFA children struggled to go out into the wide world, so I brought the world to them a little bit at a time.

Another creature that joined our home was a hermit crab.

Individuals with autism tend to use their senses in unusual ways, so tasting the hermit crab was a concern. Although you can imagine the crab pinching if someone tried to eat them, they often retreat inside their shell when threatened. Therefore, we did not get the crab until I knew the children would respond and obey to the basic idea of “no touching unless mom helps.”

We would interact with the crab a little bit each day. Crabs are pretty simple – hide in the shell, reach out of the shell. K was initially freaked out when the animal would turn from a rock-like thing to a moving creature, but it provided excellent lessons in cause and effect. If she wanted to see all of the moving appendages, she had to be gentle and patient. It took months of exposure but she did learn and came to really enjoy he little guy.